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.45 Auto vs 9mm. Which one is better?

Ammunition is one part of the bigger picture.
45 and 9mm

Which of these bullets is 9mm and which is .45 Auto?

You may have heard, "a .45 caliber will make a bigger hole than a 9mm." The bullets on the left are an example on why you can't make generalizations. The ammo on the left is Hornady's Critical Duty and the one on the right is Federal Guard Dog. Both are 9mm.

If someone starts off with, "the stopping power of .45", they have demonstrated a dated understanding of ammunition ballistics. Today's 9mm ammo is nearly as effective in damage to the human body as .45 caliber.

Today's ammunition companies have improved the effectiveness of 9mm to the point where the damage of a 9mm expanding hollow-point bullet is not significantly inferior to a .45 Auto. According to some surgeons the difference of damage between the two is negligible.

So, why chose 9mm?

Recoil Control: The softer felt recoil of a 9mm will create less muzzle flip and allow you to get back on target for follow up shots.

Capacity: A similar sized handgun in 9mm may hold up to 4 more rounds than its .45 Auto brethren.

Cost: 9mm ammo is cheaper than .45 auto. You can shoot more on the same budget.

Why chose .45 Auto?

Personal preference. If you are comfortable training with it and can handle it well, why not use .45. It's your money, shoot with what's comfortable to you and what you can shoot reliably. At the time of this writing, my go-to firearm is chambered in .45 Auto. I moved from 9mm to .45 Auto because I fell in love with a pistol I reviewed. I have other pistols in 9mm and shoot those too.

What to do?

The harsh reality of stopping a bad guy's deadly attack is to put enough holes in the right place until his body shuts down, that may be one shot or it may be more, there are too many factors too determine what it will take. There are legitimate accounts of people dying from a single .22 rimfire shot and others who have survived a shot from a .357 magnum to the chest. Although these are extraordinary examples, it throws a wrench into making a blanket statement about the effectiveness of a caliber with 100% certainty.

What's Important?

Caliber consideration should come after choosing a firearm that fits your hands well and is comfortable for you to shoot, after all, if you can't control the firearm after repeated shots your accuracy will suffer. It's better to have a 9mm that you can control to hit vital areas of the body than a .45 caliber that you have trouble controlling and therefore may miss.

See Handgun Education on how to find the right fit.

Which Type of Ammo?

For personal and home defense choose hollow point ammunition. The bullet is designed to mushroom on impact creating a larger wound channel than full metal jacketed ammo which doesn't expand and may pass through a body. These following choices are a good start and maybe all you need: Hornady Critical Defense, Federal HST or Guard Dog, or , Speer Gold Dot. Don't fall for gimmicky ammo like RIP.

More info: Handgun Combatives - Defensive ammo in the field

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Further Reading:

CRIME LAB: Myths & Misconceptions